Consequences
by WhitethornWolf
Summary: Lea Amell and Alistair have a talk post-Circle visit. Not romance. [COMPLETE]


"Got a minute?"

Bleary-eyed and exhausted, it took Lea at least a few moments to realise it was Alistair who had appeared out of nowhere, and not a darkspawn. Guiltily she released her grip on her staff and tried not to look as tired as she felt. It might have worked, if keeping her eyes open wasn't such a struggle. She could have given the watch over to someone else; even Wynne had offered...but Lea was beyond tired at this point. So tired she was wide awake...as ridiculous a concept as that sounded.

"What?" she said without thinking. "Oh. Yes, I suppose I have all night."

"Daydreaming, are we?" He sat down beside her, resting one arm on a bent knee, and she put the sword aside with an embarrassed flush. "Not that I blame you. Being on watch is boring." He took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, I want to talk to you about what happened at Redcliffe."

"Go on."

Alistair stared out over the darkened camp for a few moments, drawing in a deep breath.

"I wanted to thank you," he said eventually. "You went out of your way to save the arl's family, even though it would have been easier not to. If it hadn't been for you, Connor wouldn't have come out of that easily. If at all."

"Using blood magic was not an option." Lea drew her legs up to her chest and leaned her chin on her knees. "I never even considered it."

"And that's good to hear. Really. I'm glad we were able to save someone, at least." The last part was said with some bitterness. She didn't have to know Alistair well to realise he was thinking of Duncan.

"Connor is only a boy," she said, and rested her cheek on one knee. "He has his whole life ahead of him. And he will be safe at Kinloch Hold. He'll be able to learn magic without having to worry about demons anymore."

"Well, I suppose a life inside the Circle of Magi is better than no life at all." Alistair hesitated, as if he were going to continue, then shrugged. He plucked a blade of grass and began to pick it apart, dropping his gaze. Lea hardly noticed the silence, lost in her own thoughts.

"I never really knew my parents," she said eventually, tightening her grip on her knees. "I'm told my mother wept when the templars took me to the Circle. I was the oldest, and I'm told I had four siblings. I don't even know their names."

Alistair looked up, twisting the grass in his hands, and frowned.

"Kinloch Hold was the only home I knew," Lea said, swallowing against the painful twist of her gut. "The Circle mages were the closest thing to family I had. And now so many are gone." The lump in her throat grew, and she grimaced at the shake of her own voice. "Maker, some of them were...were just babies a few years before."

The tears were stinging her eyes now. Mortified, Lea turned her face away and scrubbed her cheeks furiously, hoping Alistair hadn't seen.

"Lea," he said, his voice low. She heard the pity and that made it worse.

"Please don't." Her voice was barely a gasp, her whole body shaking with the effort of holding back sobs. "I'm just tired."

There was a long, awkward pause, punctuated only by the faint chirping of insects...then a rough, warm hand rested on her shoulder.

Lea froze for a split second, but Alistair didn't try to move closer. It could have been the fear of being turned into a toad, but she suspected he understood she held no romantic interest. Even some men picked up on this from time to time; she supposed she could be grateful he had sensed it from her.

"You'll be alright," Alistair said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," Lea said, and pulled gently away after a few moments. "You know, you're pretty good at that."

He didn't smile. "You should get some sleep."

"I'm on watch, Alistair."

"Not anymore, you're not." He made a shooing motion. "Off to bed with you, now."

"But -"

"I'll be fine, don't you worry."

Lea rolled her eyes in an effort to disguise her relief.

"I won't stop you if you're volunteering for my watch," she said, and got to her feet. "I owe you at least one drink now, though. You know that, right?"

He flashed her a grin. "I'm counting on it."

"Oh, I'll bet. But in all seriousness, thank you. I'm...well, you're not the only one who's glad you are you."


End file.
